The apprentice had finished all of the chores Lotusfire had assigned to her that day. It had been quicker than usual, and now she was faced with the dilemma of finding a way to spend the rest of her evening.

Usually she finished around moonrise, having her meager dinner alone as the last of the fresh-kill pile had dwindled into slim pickings - especially so near leaf-bare. But she was grateful that Mistclan's hunters had still had the fortune to find excess.

Now, with other cats still up and awake and the other apprentices enjoying their meals in groups, Spottedpaw felt more isolated than she imagined she would in this situation. Unlike her mentor, Spottedpaw was a fairly social cat, she enjoyed interacting with her clanmates, but rarely had time to socialize with other apprentices. She was always either tending to the elders or the queens and their kits. Despite being surrounded by cats, she felt especially lonely, more so now as she got a taste of what mealtime really was.

The elders and queens had already eaten, and she didn't dare attempt to share with her mentor. She was beginning to tell she was trying their patience - but she didn't know how or why. She had done everything they asked, but still they had ice run through their veins, more so than usual it seemed when she was around.

With her conversation with Ryewhisker and how their mentor had physically lashed out at them for perceived inadequacy, a bit of uncertainty and perhaps even fear rolled in her head like the tide, pushing thoughts back and forth. What if Lotusfire struck her? She had already become wary, but at least their long list of chores kept them away from sharing the same space for too long.

Her hunger snapped her back to reality. From her current position she was scouting out the fresh-kill pile, still stocked with prey she'd never tried before. The petite grouse looked delicious, but for as hungry as she was, she knew she couldn't eat the whole thing by herself.

'Hi, Spottedpaw,' another voice sounded from the side.

Many cats knew her name just from her position as medicine cat apprentice, but she hardly knew everyone else's, especially other apprentices, which this tom looked to be. After two seconds of contemplation however, she recognized him. "Hello, Salamanderpaw." She had met him briefly during his stay in the medicine den when she first became Lotusfire's apprentice and he still a kit. She remembered his brother asking to spend time with him throughout his recovery. The brothers had contrasting personalities, she could tell that much from a distance. But they were obviously close, and their father was very kind.

She was half-expecting Salamanderpaw to ask her for some herbs, perhaps something for an upset stomach, but she was taken a bit aback as he was offering to help her instead.

"Uh, well," She had never had someone freely offer to help her. Was this a sign from Starclan? She had tried to ask Lotusfire about some basic warrior training, but they dismissed her concerns. Perhaps Salamanderpaw could teach her something? But, for now she was still very hungry, and it felt rude to ask him that right away. "Yes, I could use your help with something." She took a kittenstep forward, gesturing with her nose toward the fresh-kill pile. "Though first…if you are hungry, maybe we could share that grouse over there?...I can't possibly eat it all, but I've never tried it before. We could even split the feathers for our nests if you'd like?" She very much hoped he'd agree. The she-cat saw he had come from a group of cats sharing prey though, so perhaps he had already had his fill, but she still wanted to offer.

Spottedpaw knew she was a bit naive about the way the world outside camp worked. She had never been on a full tour of Mistclan's territory, just the places Lotusfire showed her were good for gathering certain types of herbs. The farthest she'd gone was the mooncave and within - and near the plains' edge, but never too near the border. She had gone to a gathering too once, after she had been named a medicine cat apprentice, but Lotusfire often wanted her to stay behind in camp just in case something were to happen while they were gone. That was reasonable, she thought. But Spottedpaw couldn't help but want to talk to cats from other clans. Though, maybe she should get to know the apprentices in her own clan first.

Her face lit up as he accepted her offer, and she happily toddled after him near the apprentice den. She sat perhaps half a hare length away. Spottedpaw was very comfortable with being close to other cats, but she had realized not all cats were like her, especially ones she did not know well. Her mother had told her to respect others' personal space.

As Salamanderpaw plucked the bird and told her of his fighting skills, the medicine cat apprentice took that as confirmation that Starclan wanted her to ask. Surely they wouldn't have sent him her way if they did not.

She shuffled around on her front paws, her gaze unable to look him in the eye. "No, no it's not herbs." She did want someone to accompany her sometimes. Sometimes she got terribly lonely when fetching herbs without Lotusfire. But she also wanted to be able to protect herself. "Please don't laugh at me," she mewed softly. Lotusfire did not laugh, but it felt like they did as they brushed off her fears. "B…but I'd like to learn some combat training." Her voice was hushed, scared of being judged harshly again. "When I was out collecting herbs I smelt a rogue in our territory." She didn't want to admit she was scared. "It made me think how vulnerable I am without an escort or Lotusfire." Surely Lotusfire would protect her if they were attacked. But they weren't always around. "...Lotusfire said I don't need it," she continued, her voice still hushed. "B…but I disagree." This was the first time she had ever openly opposed Lotusfire to a clanmate. It felt both wrong and right at the same time. "Would you teach me…please?" Her eyes glistened with both pleading hope and in preparing for the sadness of rejection.

Salamanderpaw did not leave her waiting in suspense long. She watched his azure eyes meet her emerald. The intensity of his stare made her a bit nervous. Lotusfire liked to stare, particularly right before they scolded her. And Spottedpaw steeled herself for the rejection she feared.

"Of course I will!"

…He would…he would!

The nervous tension in her body pulled away, for now, her tail - before curled tightly around her body in a form of self soothing - released its adder grip from her flank, her demeanor turning considerably more cheery.

"Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you." A loud purr could be heard from her chest. She almost couldn't contain her excitement, and craved to get going right away, much like a kit getting to go outside the nursery for the first time. But this was so much more exciting! And scary, but mostly exciting.

She listened intently as Salamanderpaw continued. Defensive moves. Yes, she'd like that. She didn't want to hurt anyone, not if she did not have to. Was she even allowed to hurt anyone as a medicine cat? Even just for self-defense? Lotusfire had not been clear on that, but she wasn't going to tell them of this anyway. They would only make her feel bad for contradicting them - or worse.

Then the subject of kithood games came up.

"There weren't many kits my age in the nursery when I was born. There was Mallardpaw, and Aspenrain's siblings, but they're older." Mallardpaw was very nice to her, but he was twice her size most of the time. He was due to get his warrior name any moon now. "I don't have any siblings, so I hung out with the elders most of the time…they did tell valiant stories of battles passed, though. And I saw other apprentices training once, near the lightning tree…but not really. No…" Her embarrassment returned as her cheeks grew hot and her ears flicked down and back upward with no real rhyme or reason besides anxiety - and perhaps a fear that Lotusfire would jump out from the bushes at any moment.

Already she had lent Salamanderpaw the same high level of attention she offered Lotusfire, listening for any bits of sagacious wisdom the other apprentice could give her.

“That’s okay. Believe me when I say that when someone lunges at you, you’ll know what to do. And with some practice, you’ll learn how to act without relying on instincts alone. The first time my mentor leapt at me, I squealed like a kit and dropped to the ground. But I think that’s normal - and it’s not an entirely incorrect reaction.”

It was comforting that Salamanderpaw already had confidence in her ability. If they ever had, Lotusfire hadn't made it obvious, and while before that topic might not have bothered her - experiencing hopeful teaching now sent a stake of hurt through her heart. Why couldn't Lotusfire seem to have any faith in her?

As the younger apprentice mentioned finishing their meal, Spottedpaw nodded obediently, setting to work against the grouse with a newly fueled and ravenous appetite for adventure. The game bird was delicious, much different tasting than the mice and shrews that were left at the bottom of the fresh-kill pile for her to take after a long day of chores.

After finishing her share, her tongue wiped around the white of her cheeks, savoring the last bits of flavor. "I'll take these to my nest and meet you outside of camp!" she chirped happily, securing the pile of feathers closest to her, she skipped off towards the apprentice tree to drop them off atop her sleeping spot to be sorted and woven in later.

A few fox lengths out of camp, away from view of the camp sentries she waited on shifting paws for Salamander to finish up and join her. Where would he take them? To the lightning tree like the other apprentices got to train at? Or maybe he had a different, more secret, spot? Secret was better, was it not?