Kithood (cw for kit death) Though both senior warriors, Ambershade and Ivyfang are pleased to welcome a trio of healthy kits to Ridgeclan. Cougarkit is one of them, along with her sister Laurelkit and brother Coyotekit. Cougarkit is a quiet, docile kitten—following the rules the most out of her siblings. Even at her small age, she despised failure, and always wanted to be right.

Thankfully, her parents persuaded her that mistakes were okay, and everyone was bound to make them. Still, Cougarkit was determined to make as few as possible. She had been told the rules, and she was going to follow them. She never joined in her siblings' attempts to sneak out of camp, often chiding them whenever they told her. This lead to them keeping their plans a secret, which upset her whenever she did find out.

Their litter of three befriended another trio, made up of siblings Antkit, Cricketkit, and Beetlekit. Cougarkit enjoyed their company sometimes, but often found them too rowdy and disobedient to hang out with for long. She preferred talking to older cats and listening to elder's stories. It was always to her delight when her sister joined her in her more quiet pastimes. Laurelkit seemed to always make time for her.

Cougarkit hadn't even woken for her brother's escape. The last thing she ever said to him was goodnight, and she remembers nestling up to him at Ambershade's side. She awoke to the yowl of her mother, learning that Coyotekit as well as Beetlekit and Antkit were missing. Gone. Laurelkit explained that he had woken her during the night to try get her to sneak out—that must be where they'd gone. Into the vast pine forest.

It took nearly all day to locate the kittens. Cougarkit remembers waiting as if it lasted moons as well as only minutes. The hope she had had, that her brother would be found by Ridgeclan's great warriors and returned safely. Unfortunately, the kittens were not found alive. They had been murdered by a cruel lynx, likely defending its own young from the intruding kits.

That was Cougarkit's first experience with death. It never had made sense to her before. That a cat would just be... gone. But here was Coyotekit, and his body no longer held his joyful, rambunctious spirit. It was still and cold. Her parents explained that his soul would be in Starclan, safe and happy, and waiting to one day see his family again when they too passed.

It still took a while for it to sink in. Her sister suffered as well—the whole family did, the whole clan. They were all devastated to lose three bright young stars. Cougarkit swore she would never do anything to make her parents worry for her like that. She would be safe, always. And she would do her best to keep Laurelkit safe too.

Cougarkit is still expecting the best when her father moves to the medicine den, weakened and horribly ill. She knows Ivyfang is strong, and cannot grasp the bastions of her parents leaving her like Coyotekit did. While their father is declining in health, Laurelkit decides to be reckless. Cougarkit was not told of her sister's plans, just as she was not told by Coyotekit of his.

Luckily, it is not Laurelkit who takes the fall. Unluckily, it is Cricketkit who does. The pair had snuck out and Laurelkit had dared the other to climb a tree, which Cricketkit then fell from and injured herself. Laurelkit was forbade from playing with the other kitten, and made to look after the elders for a moon. Cougarkit often joined her sister in these duties despite not being sentenced to them, wanting to let her know she wasn't alone.

Ivyfang passes later that moon, and Ambershade only days after him in her sleep. The loss of both their parents in mere days swallows their two remaining children in grief. Cougarkit remembers weeping into her sister's fur, who was more stony in her sorrow, and the pitying stares of her clanmates. Their stories of Starclan comforted her, enough to get her out of her nest in the morning. Knowing they would be watching, proud of her, and there for her when her time came.

Apprenticehood Cougarpaw and Laurelpaw are apprenticed together, along with Cricketpaw. Apprenticed to a kindly younger warrior named Creekfur, the distraction is welcome for Cougarpaw. Her mentor's gentle guidance and companionship is perfect for the rule-following apprentice, and the pair grow a deep bond because of it. Thankfully, Laurelpaw's mentor supported her the same and the sisters moved on from their ruts.

While Laurelpaw was balancing her time between friends and training, Cougarpaw tended to lean to heavily on the work side. She often found her peers immature, aside from one older apprentice she instantly befriended. The molly was named Bearpaw, and was a couple moons older than Cougarpaw. She was strong and loyal, with a fiery streak and dry sense of humor. Bearpaw was as dedicated to Ridgeclan and her training as Cougarpaw was, which made them perfectly suited friends.

Any time that wasn't spent training with Creekfur and Bearpaw was spent hanging out with Laurelpaw. She enjoyed her sister's company even if they didn't share friend groups, and she liked having someone she could gossip and let her guard down with. Bearpaw pushed her to be better—but with Laurelpaw, she knew her sister would love her no matter what.

Nearing the end of her apprenticehood, Creekfur and his mate announce that they are expecting kits. Bearpaw has since been named a warrior, Bearblaze, but her new name hasn't deterred her from spending time with Cougarpaw. Cougarpaw finds herself training with her friend more as her mentor's litter's due date approaches.

The kittens are born a moon or so later, both small but healthy. Cougarpaw views them as almost younger siblings, and both she and Creekfur spend time playing with the kits after training is over for the day. It makes Cougarpaw realize that she wants kits one day—and a mate who loves her, and who she loves, like her parents or Creekfur and his partner.

Warriorhood Cougarpaw and her sister become Cougarcloud and Laurelfern, but not a lot changes for newly named Cougarcloud. She still hangs out with her mentor and sister, plays with Creekfur's kits and chats with his mate, trains and hunts with Bearblaze. She just has slightly more freedom, and less weight on her shoulders now that she has earned her keep.

Cougarcloud noticed her sister and group of friends were going out for long days, but assumed they were hunting or checking the borders. So she never asked Laurelfern about it. She falls into a rhythm of clan life, keeping to the quiet edges, but known as a respectable young molly.

It is around this time that Wolfstar assumes leadership of Ridgeclan, and Cougarcloud gets her first apprentice. Cinderpaw is a strong tom, big for his age, and Cougarcloud immediately sees his potential. She encourages him to take on his duties with enthusiasm and a level head, and finds that he blossoms as his training continues. She is proud and happy to have such a dedicated apprentice.

Her eyes do tend to wander to the white-flecked coat of their leader. She hadn't ever noticed he was handsome before. And sometimes, he turned to look at her, and he smiled. It gave her butterflies. It is a surprise to her, when he approaches, soft-spoken but confident, and it is inevitable that she falls. He's so sweet to her, so he must be falling too.

It is not long after Cinderflame becomes a warrior that Wolfstar and Cougarcloud officially become mates. It feels like a dream. She can't believe that he could have anyone, and yet he wants her. She is ecstatic that her sister approves of the pairing, offering her best wishes to them in the coming moons It's hard to tell how exactly Bearblaze feels, but she knows her best friend wants her to be happy. And she is.

But soon, the new shine of the relationship wears off. Cougarcloud realizes that as kind Wolfstar is to her, she feels as if there's something missing. She does her best to search inside herself for it, there must be a reason, something she's done wrong. He's perfect, what more could she want? Why does it feel wrong? She loves him, and she makes sure he knows it, but there's a hollowness whenever he says the words back that she can't ignore.

An announcement from Laurelfern distracts her, however. Her sister is expecting kits with her own mate Honeythorn. Cougarcloud can't wait until the litter is born, and when they are, she loves them. Two nephews, little Owlkit and Kestrelkit. This reignites in her the desire for kits of her own, which she speaks with Wolfstar about. He also wants a family, but they agree that they aren't quite ready yet.

He has also begun inviting her to his slightly secretive meetings, made up of his friends and deputy, Spiderstorm. They all shared a similar goal. The same thing that Wolfstar had been instilling in his clan for moons. That Mistclan was something to be dealt with. That war was the answer to their problems. Cougarcloud had mixed feelings on the matter, but didn't want to upset her mate—so she participated.

It's a surprise to both of them when Cougarcloud finds herself expecting. They'd discussed kits of course, but she hadn't particularly planned for a litter so soon. The two moons breeze by, and soon they are welcoming four healthy kittens to the clan. The labor went smoothly, and Cougarcloud holds nothing but love and pride for her children.

She and Wolfstar name them together. Their four beautiful daughters are named Meadowkit, Ravenkit, Bristlekit, and Batkit. They're so wonderful, and she's happy, but she's also worried. Of all the things that could happen to them. Laurelfern is happy to help and give advice, having plenty of mothering experience with her two boys newly apprenticed.

Spiderstorm is quickly introduced to the litter and named their godfather, and Laurelfern, Creekfur, and Bearblaze meet the kits not long after. The clan's spirits are lifted with the reveal of their birth, and that all of the kits are healthy. She is blissfully happy for a short time, while the kits are small and blind and suckling, knowing she can keep the safe.

It is in their kits that Cougarcloud discovers something about Wolfstar. She sees how her mate looks at their children, with a glimmer in his pale eyes she had never seen before. And she soon realizes that it is love, and the reason she has not seen it is because he does not look at her like that. She realizes that however much she loves him, it is not enough. She cannot make him love her back.

She is glad he loves their kits, at least.

Their kits grow fast. Too fast, almost. Too soon, they are opening their eyes and tumbling around the den. Cougarcloud instilled in them the rules and told of them the story of their uncle, their brother's namesake, and the dangers of disobedience. But she remembered her parents, and also taught them it was okay to make mistakes. Because everybody did it.

Batkit and Meadowkit seemed to listen to her advice, but she worried more for Bristlekit and Ravenkit. They were a little more wont to disobey her, and thus, needed a closer eye. Thankfully, Bearblaze was happy to help watch them whenever Cougarcloud needed a break and Wolfstar had his duties to tend to. She admired how the tom balanced his children and his clan, even knowing she fell by the wayside.

When the kittens are apprenticed, each to warriors hand-picked by Wolfstar, Cougarcloud cannot help but feel a little sick. She trusts the mentors to take care of her children, but she cannot trust the forest. She cannot trust her clanmates when they justify their bad deeds with the idea that Starclan willed it. That in their minds, Ridgeclan is better than the other clans. That war is the answer. She cannot trust her mate when he encourages these ideas. She cannot trust her mate when he does not love her.

It takes her a long time to figure out to do, but in happenstance, the perfect encounter falls into her lap. She had noticed Shadowgaze, a warrior just a few moons younger than her old apprentice, often leaving and returning to camp at odd hours. She remembers him when he was young, how well liked he was, and how big of an impression Wolfstar had on him. Curious and acting on a hunch, she decided to follow him.

She learns that he has been meeting a loner, outside of the clans, and appears to be very close with him. Eavesdropping lets her learn that Shadowgaze has his own doubts of the leader. That Wolfstar trusts him, just as he does her, but they both have begun to see through the dangerous zealotry he cultivated in their clanmates. That they both have begun to want to do something about it.

Interesting. So she isn't the only one who is against all this... before she can talk to him, she needs time to think. But she doesn't get much time, as during a storm a blast of lightning strikes down a tree at the border—conveniently bridging the gap between Mistclan and Ridgeclan. Wolfstar takes it as a sign, stirring further calls for battle... so she decides to talk to Shadowgaze.

She approaches him one evening, asking him to share a meal with her, and he is reasonably wary. Cougarcloud does her best to gain his trust, but finds him rather flighty and unreliable. Still, he wants change as much as she does, and they forge a shaky alliance. And good thing, because her mate announces his plan to attack Mistclan to his group only days later.

She begs with him not to allow their kits to go with him to the battlefield, but he is resolute. He is willing to risk not just his life, but the lives of their children for his bloodstained dream. That if he is willing for cats to die unjustly... then maybe, cats should die. She relays it to Shadowgaze later that day. The attack on Mistclan could be the perfect cover for Wolfstar's death. She just offers the idea, but knows from the look in his eyes what he will do.

Thank Starclan all of her kits survive the battle. The knowledge she had did not soften the blow of Wolfstar's death. Cougarcloud knows what grief looks like if she needed to pretend. But she doesn't have to fake it for him. She grieves him, the love she had for him, the love he could have had for her. She grieves him for their children, who are heartbroken at the loss of him. She knows they will recover. The clan will recover.

Their kits become warriors in the wake of the loss. Batsong named in honor of her father, and the others Meadowfern, Ravenheart, and Bristleback. She is proud of her children and the prowess they displayed in battle, at the same time hating that they had to fight in it. The wounds, mental and physical, they sustained would haunt them for the rest of their lives. Maybe if Wolfstar had seen that, had chosen peace, he wouldn't have caused his children so much grief.

It's been moons since that day, almost a year, but Ridgeclan is still struggling to recover. While her sister has set off to build something anew, Cougarcloud is determined to mend the pieces of Ridgeclan and her family that Wolfstar left behind.

Pre-Plotting: Cougarcloud has been adopted from canon adopts, with pre-established family and plot in place. The molly is the pinnacle of saturn cats, vehemently against the fervor that Wolfstar instilled in Ridgeclan and determined to rebuild and mend her clan to the height it once was. She regrets their actions against the other clans, and knows a future that would be best for Ridgeclan is one where they are at peace with their contemporaries.

Family: Losing her parents and brother before even her apprenticehood, Cougarcloud was envious of those with large, happy families. She clung to her sister until she finally had a family of her own with Wolfstar. Though their relationship had its hiccups, both were loving parents to their kits. It is her children that Cougarcloud cherishes and puts in the forefront of her mind. She wants the clan to be better, safer, for them.
Friends: Cougarcloud always had few friends, tending to keep to herself despite her helpful nature. She was happy to lend a paw, but never really got too close to cats. Those she is close to, she cares for as if they were family, trusts to the ends of the earth, and would protect with her life.
Romance: Cougarcloud yearned for a love like her parents had, one she did not find with Wolfstar despite loving him so. Though romance is the last thing on her mind, she is at heart a romantic and is not opposed to loving again. Still grappling with the death of her mate, she would be slow to give her heart to anyone.
Rivals: Few would expect the queen to have enemies, but truthfully, anyone who supported Wolfstar is hers. She believes they can be changed and redeemed, but will always doubt those fooled by his song. She considers Shadowgaze a tumultuous ally, but worries that he may crack under pressure.