A handsome, medium-furred calico tom with black and red coloration mostly along his back.

-

Kestrelthorn was always handsome, even if as a kit he was called pretty instead. He has striking calico markings - fiery orange, brighter than any sunrise, mottled together with a rich brown, so dark it's nearly black. His underside and chest are predominantly white, making his calico colors look like a cape, accentuating the plume of white fur on his chest that makes up his mane.

Some cats are clearly strong fighters or hunters from birth, based on the leanness of their form or the strength in their muscles. Knowing this, Kestrelthorn like to joke that he was born to be admired. He's a good looking cat and he knows it, with perfectly placed ears listening for gossip, a strong maw always moving with chatter, and bright, yellow-green eyes keeping a watch for new cats to talk to. If you had to give him a job based on his figure, Kestrelthorn is built for anything that requires speed. He's smaller than the typical RidgeClan warrior but with long legs that carry him swiftly across far distances.

"We're brothers," Ketrelkit says at four moons old, and that's what he considers the start of his life. "Not siblings. I'm a boy." His parents don't bat an eye. The next time he strides out into camp, kitten-thin tail held high, it's like no one knew Kestrelkit as anything other than Laurelfern's son.

Between the brothers, Kestrelkit is the troublemaker, and Owlkit is the poor soul who happened to be born alongside him. Kestrelkit greets every morning with bright eyes and a new idea. Usually, it's trouble. And usually, Owlkit is roped into it alongside him. However, despite Kestrelkit's propensity for being up to no good, no one thinks he's a problem. Mischievous at worst and innovative at best, which, as he gets older, Kestrelkit thinks is the perfect line to toe.

-

"You see that?" Kestrelkit is looking up. Not at the stars speckling the night sky, but at the dark outline of leaves clinging to branches. Between some of the leaves is a small bud, the first sign of new-leaf. But in the dark the sign goes nearly missed, and he nudges his brother until Owlkit really looks. "That'll be a flower!"

Owlkit looks nervous at the thought. "Really? How do you know?"

"I guess it could be a leaf. I heard the elders talking about it. The buds mean it's almost new-leaf!" It would be their first new-leaf. He'd heard talk of trees covered in white and pink flowers, but Kestrelkit couldn't picture it. Not with how gray and frail the trees looked now, often coated in ice and snow. "I'm really excited. I'm going to collect all the flower petals and give them to Mom. And maybe Wolfstar. Do you think Wolfstar wants flowers?"

"I don't know..."

"I think Wolfstar wants flowers. I want flowers. Do you want them?"

"I guess?"

"See? Everyone wants flowers."

-

Kestrelkit lazily swats at Owlkit's tail as he dozes, his tail twitching from whatever thoughts occupied his dreams. They two of them are tucked into a warm patch of sun, tired from a long morning of listening to the elders speak and pestering every apprentice for information about their training. With less than a moon left before he's named, Kestrelkit can't help but spend all his time trying to prepare himself what to expect as an apprentice.

"Heard you harassed the apprentices again," Frostberry, a senior warrior, says as they join him and Owlkit in the patch of sun. "You're gonna make enemies before you get named, kid."

"No." Kestrelkit sticks out his tongue. "All the apprentices love me. We're friends."

Frostberry snorts. He likes that about the warrior. They always speak to Kestrelkit like he's just another clan member, rather than a child to be looked after. "Just be careful," Frostberry says, taking care to groom the patch of Owlkit's fur that Kestrelkit ruffled up for no reason. "Don't let them tease you too much on your first night."

At the time, Kestrelkit didn't realize how much of a warning that was.

-

CW: bullying.

-

The brothers are given their apprentice names together. Kestrelkit touches noses with Frostberry, now his mentor, and watches Owlkit do the same with Goldenstorm. He likes that their mentors are siblings, even if they come from different litters. It makes it seem like Wolfstar was really paying attention when he selected them, and if there's one thing Kestrelpaw loves, it's attention.

Except, not the sort of attention he gets in the apprentice den.

Kestrelpaw doesn't realize he's small until he sits next to Owlpaw in the apprentice den and sees how well his brother kept up with their clanmates' growth. That luxury isn't afforded to him. He's smaller than all the other apprentices, with fur that's still kitten-soft, and eyes tinged with gray that make him seem younger than he is. "Are we making kits into apprentices now?" One of the older apprentices says, a silvery tom called Riverpaw.

"Looks like it." The second apprentice is Fogpaw. Kestrelpaw doesn't know if they're siblings or not, but their pelts match perfectly. He can't help but be jealous. He always wished he and Owlpaw looked more like each other.

"I'm six moons," he snaps, lashing his short tail at the other apprentices. They laugh at him. At him. Kestrelpaw had made plenty of cats laugh with him before, but to be the subject of Riverpaw and Fogpaw's amusement makes his pelt crawl uncomfortably. He wants to disappear into the nest he shared with Owlpaw and never come out.

"Sure you are," Riverpaw says. "Talk to me again when all the kitten fuzz falls off."

-

The bullying doesn't stop. The older apprentices take turns coming up with new ways to insult Kestrelpaw each day. They mock how he walks, how short his tail is, how his whiskers droop. It's odd hearing so many compliments from Frostberry and his parents, only to slip back into his den for the night and hear other cats tear him down. Finally, after his first half moon as an apprentice is scarred by harsh words, Kestrelpaw snaps again. "You're all so loud," he said, words like thorns leaving his throat. "Don't you have anything better to do? Or did all your mentors give up trying to make you warriors?"

Riverpaw snarls and lunges for him, but Kestrelpaw knows how small he is. How could he not, with how often the other apprentices remind him? Somehow, Riverpaw doesn't seem to know how small Kestrelpaw is, so when Kestrelpaw rolls out of the way with ease, Riverpaw slams into the brambles that protect their den. He hisses in pain, then turns to lash out at Kestrelpaw again.

"Who's making all that ruckus?"

That's Frostberry's voice. Kestrelpaw calls out for his mentor, "Riverpaw. He's trying to tear the den down."

"Riverpaw, get out here. Now. Bring your sibling."

He's not friends with Riverpaw and Fogpaw, but whatever Frostberry said gets them to back off, at least.

-

The next bully that comes to the apprentice den is a moon younger than him. Fallowpaw is the definition of snooty, and she comes with a whole fleet of siblings ready to back her up. She's not too bad in the beginning, but by his ninth moon Kestrelpaw winces every time he sees her, knowing her voice will dig into his ears like a burr. "I think we should eat by the warriors den," she says one morning, somehow having worked her way into his friend group. (Honestly, he doesn't remember how it happened at all.) "Since we're basically warriors."

He snorts. Yeah, right. "Do you have something to say, Kestrelpaw?"

"You're eight moons old." Already, he can see the fur prickling around her shoulders. "What do you mean, basically warriors?"

"I just mean we're better than the other apprentices," she splutters in her defense.

"Speak for yourself." He rolls his eyes. "Last I heard, you can't even catch a vole." Fallowpaw splutters again but has nothing else to say, and Kestrelpaw sits with a pleased grin, happy to see her go.

-

"You were a little mean to Fallowpaw," Owlpaw tells him later, the two of them enjoying a moment of alone time before training. "About the vole thing."

"What? She's a bully. I'm just showing her what it's like."

Somehow, his attitude toward Fallowpaw isn't enough to make her stop hanging out with him. She holds her tongue around him a little more. Her voice irritates him less. But still, like Fogpaw and Riverpaw, they're never really friends.

-

Ripplepaw is small at six moons, just like Kestrelpaw was. He's drawn to the new apprentice immediately. Kestrelpaw tells himself it's because Ripplepaw is his mother's apprentice, of course they'll be friends, but they click in a way different from how Kestrelpaw feels about any of his other friends. It's like Ripplepaw knows him, knows him to his core. Each morning, Kestrelpaw has to remind himself not to take all of Ripplepaw's time, if only so his friend has room to grow.

Later, he regrets it, when he learns what happens to Ripplepaw when he's not around. "Kestrelpaw," his mother says one day. "How does Ripplepaw get along with the other apprentices?"

"Oh, good! He's the best." He has no reason to believe the other apprentices don't feel the same. Something about his mother's expression tells him otherwise, though, and that night Kestrelpaw takes his time returning to the den. He hears Fallowpaw's voice right away - sharp and annoying, like he used to think she was.

"You'll never be a guardian," she says. Kestrelpaw's ears flatten. "You're too small. That's why they gave you Laurelfern as a mentor."

"Not all guardians are trained by other guardians at first." That's Ripplepaw. The nervous tone in his voice, coupled with the tremor Kestrelpaw can hear even at this distance, makes Kestrelpaw's heart ache. "I can do extra training."

"They won't let you. Don't even bother." He can hear other apprentices laughing. Fallowpaw's siblings, mostly, but also... his friends? Kestrelpaw sees red as he barrels his way into the apprentice den, confronted by the sight of Fallowpaw and their shared friends circling Ripplepaw, like a barbed circle of thorns, just waiting for Ripplepaw to catch himself on them.

"Hey." Kestrelpaw's tone is cold when he makes himself known. His friends turn to face him slowly. First, their expressions make him sick - they're grinning, like they expect Kestrelpaw to play along. But once they realize who he is, or maybe when they see the lack of amusement on his face, their grins fall to something more cautious. Fearful, almost. It's an expression he would hate to see on his friends' faces except for the fact that these aren't his friends anymore. No friends of his would treat Ripplepaw - or any cat - like this. "Back off."

"Come on, Kestrelpaw," Fallowpaw says, the only one who doesn't look like she's been caught. If anything, she looks annoyed. "We're just saying what he knows. He's tiny. He'll never be a guardian, he might not even be a warrior."

"You won't be a warrior if you keep this up," Kestrelpaw says, still cold. "Warriors don't treat other warriors like this."

"Neither will you, then," Fallowpaw snaps back. "You're like this all the time. To everyone. Even your own brother." That - that wasn't true. Kestrelpaw snarls, then launches himself at Fallowpaw, who dodges easily out of the way.

Except, she dodges into Riverpaw, just returned from training with Fogpaw. "Watch it," the older apprentice says. Fallowpaw cowers at his feet. At this point, Riverpaw is easily the biggest apprentice in the den, and only days away from getting his warrior name. "Kestrelpaw's right. They won't make you a warrior if you have a bad attitude."

It feels like a victory, especially when Ripplepaw hurries away from his bullies to join Kestrelpaw across the den, pressed close to his side.

-

"I'm sorry I missed it," Owlpaw says the next day, while Kestrelpaw recounts the story. "My patrol wasn't exciting at all..."

"It's okay." Kestrelpaw bumps his shoulder into his brother's. "Hey, you don't think I bully you, do you?"

Owlpaw pretends to think about it in a way that's meant to make Kestrelpaw laugh. "No. You can be a little sharp-tongued, but you're not a bully."

"I can't help it! The words just come out."

"I'll let you know if you're ever too mean."

"Thanks, Owlpaw. I don't know what I'd do without you."

-

On the eve of their warrior ceremony, Owlpaw is attacked.

His brother's blood and fur is strewn against the forest floor and Kestrelpaw wishes he was there alongside him, wishes he understood the pain Owlpaw felt, wishes he never once left him out of his sight. If he had just been there-

But he doesn't want to center himself. Not when Owlpaw still breathes, but no one knows how long for. He spends every waking moment with his unconscious brother - and most of his un-waking moments, too, sleeping every night in the medicine cat den that Sootwhisker will allow.

And then finally, finally, Owlpaw wakes up.

-

"You need to understand something," Frostberry says when Kestrelpaw returns to his training. "Owlpaw might not survive this."

"I know." He was brave when Sootwhisker explained that Owlpaw's survival was not guaranteed. Infection still wracks his brother's body and the swelling in his throat makes it almost impossible for him to eat. The odds are against him, but still Kestrelpaw feels it in his bones that his brother will survive this. "I know he's still in danger. But I think he'll heal."

Despite Kestrelpaw's confidence, Frostberry shakes their head. "There's more to this injury than just the physical," they say. "The cat who recovers may not be the Owlpaw you recognize."

"Don't doubt him." It's not the first time Kestrelpaw disagrees with his mentor. Over their moons together, Frostberry dealt with more than one of his moods. But this time feels different. He's not snapping at Frostberry, not lashing out in immaturity or anger. This time, he's correcting them. Frostberry is wrong and Kestrelpaw is determined to make them see that. "Owlpaw is my brother. I'll always recognize him."

Frostberry sighs, but Kestrelpaw can see their smile. "All right, kid. I should know better than to fight you on this one."

-

Kestrelpaw tells his family of his decision the day the medicine cat stops talking about Owlpaw like he's a lost cause. He wants to delay his warrior name until Owlpaw can be named alongside him. It their right as brothers to take vigil together and Kestrelpaw would be damned before he was denied that. There's some pushback, mostly from Frostberry, but in the end Kestrelpaw's request was agreed to.

"It's nice that you'll be here a little longer," Ripplepaw says when Kestrelpaw tells him. He smiles at his friend - no longer small, now almost as big as Kestrelpaw - and flicks his tail in amusement. He doesn't mind the delay in his naming, it was his idea after all, but it was nicer to think of the bright side of things, and Ripplepaw was certainly bright.

"Gives you a little time to catch up!"

-

A moon later, Owlpaw can stand. He can walk. He's slow, but his eyes are lit with determination. It's a recognizable expression on his brother. Kestrelpaw grins whenever he sees it, knowing he was right and Frostberry was wrong. Maybe Owlpaw can't speak just yet, nothing more than hoarse noises, but he stands beside Kestrelpaw as Wolfstar bestows their name. Owlheart, for his strength. It's a perfect name.

Kestrelthorn is named for his barbs. He thinks that name is perfect, too.

-

Owlheart's first formed word since his accident is Kestrelthorn's name.

It lights a fire in him. Kestrelthorn already swore to never leave Owlheart alone again, and now he knows Owlheart means to do the same. "I'll get strong again," Owlheart promises, in a new voice that Kestrelthorn is eager to learn.

"You're already strong," his mother says. Kestrelthorn can tell it's not what Owlheart wants to hear. He presses close to his brother as he grieves what he loss, and softly tells him he doesn't need to be strong. He can be whatever he wants, so long as he's still alive.

-

"You're, uh. You're a warrior now." Ripplepaw asked him on this patrol days ago, but Kestrelthorn hadn't found the time to go until now. They still saw each other plenty. More than most young warriors and apprentices. But this was the first time they'd been alone in what felt like ages, even if Kestrelthorn knew it'd only been half a moon. "How... is it?"

"Boring without you," he promises his friend. "You'll be named soon. Just you wait."

"Will you?" Ripplepaw's words come out in a rush. "Wait?"

"Wait for what?"

"For me?" 

Oh, sweet StarClan, he thought he could melt hearing that. Kestrelthorn butts his head into Ripplepaw's, sharing just a moment of closeness they would be denied until Ripplepaw got his name. "Yeah. I'll wait."

"I love you, Kestrelthorn."

And maybe they're too young to know what it means, but Kestrelthorn still believes it when he says, "I love you, too."

-

He has to believe it.

It's the only thing that keeps him going after Ripplepaw dies.

-

Kestrelthorn is 15 moons when RidgeClan goes to war. His mother keeps him back, separating him from Wolfstar and his values like she always does. He feels torn in two directions as he watches Ripplepaw go. He wants to be with him, wants to keep his mate safe, wants to know they'll nest beside each other one day soon. But at the same time, he knows he promised to stay by Owlheart's side. To not leave him be, especially while he still recovered. That night is spent shaking in terror, only to freeze when he sees his mother or brother looking at him. He wants to be strong for them. Fearless.

But his greatest fear is known when RidgeClan's warriors return with death. Death. Death. So much death that Kestrelthorn doesn't know where to begin. Wolfstar is dead. Frostberry is dead. Oaktail is dead.

Ripplepaw is dead.

Oh, StarClan, Ripplepaw is dead.

-

Days go by.

Ripplepaw is still dead.

-

Owlheart came back. Owlheart came back. Owlheart came back. Death was all but guaranteed for Owlheart and still he came back.

Why didn't Ripplepaw come back?

Life is a blur those first few moons after Ripplepaw's death. Kestrelthorn knows RidgeClan has a new leader. A new deputy. Medicine cat, even. And the oracle was gone - good, that damned oracle pushed Wolfstar into religious fervor, or at least that's what he hears other clanmates say. He knows his clan has changed and still it doesn't register with him. Nothing does. He lives each day the same way - gray, slow, and quiet.

Surprising him, it's Riverleap that first breaks through Kestrelthorn's fog. He's not sure who else it could really be. Owlheart still struggles with his injuries (and besides, he never really closed himself off from his brother in the first place) and his parents are distant, reeling from their own losses. Riverleap has come a long way since their early days in the apprentice den together. He's gentler. Quieter than he used to be, also devastated by loss, and with that quietness comes the illusion of patience.

But Riverleap isn't patient. "I can't stand this," he grumbles, catching Kestrelthorn's attention, which had previously been focused on the last of new-leaf's blossoms falling from nearby trees. Kestrelthorn just blinks at the taller warrior. "Watching you. I can't stand it."

"Don't be an ass," Kestrelthorn says with only half the heart he might have once had.

"That's what I mean," Riverleap groans. "C'mon. Get mad at me like you mean it."

He feels it, for a moment. A spark of annoyance. Of anger. But it fizzles out, and Kestrelthorn goes back to looking at the flowers. "I don't really want to."

"Okay. I'll try again later."

-

Riverleap isn't patient, but he sure is stubborn, and sometimes Kestrelthorn doesn't know the difference. Whatever it is, he's grateful for it. Riverleap bothers him every day, sometimes bringing his sibling, Fogfrost, along until Kestrelthorn thinks they might be friends. He's 24 moons old when life seems to go back to normal. He laughs with his brother, spends time with his parents, takes meals with his new friends, and helps train the youngest apprentices, just something to fill his spare time with.

Sometimes he thinks about guardian training. He's older than most guardians would train, but it was something Ripplepaw always wanted, and Riverleap - a guardian himself - agrees it would be a good way to honor his lost mate. It's on his mind for moons when he finally works up the courage to ask Mushroomstar. But before he gets a moment alone with the leader, his mother pulls him aside.

"You're leaving?"

"It will be announced at the next gathering."

Kestrelthorn repeats his question again, but it's clear from his mother's reponse that she's already left. Her heart hasn't been with RidgeClan in a long time, maybe since before Wolfstar's war, and he's horrified to find that he feels the same way. RidgeClan isn't his home. Or maybe it is - maybe being a clan cat will never really leave him, maybe Ripplepaw's death will always haunt him. But he doesn't want it to be his home anymore. He wants to leave.

He wants to leave.

It's so freeing to think that.

It's even better to say it out loud.

He's never been so happy to see his mother smile.

-

Owlheart doesn't want to leave.

-

"She's our mother," Kestrelthorn says when Owlheart warns him of how little support they'll have in the Kingdom, without the structure of a clan. "She'll take care of us. She always has. We don't need RidgeClan." Owlheart isn't convinced. He's set on staying behind, at least for now.

Kestrelthorn wants nothing more than to embrace his place in the Kingdom, to run from RidgeClan, but he won't leave Owlheart behind.

Not again.

Pre-Plotting: Kestrelthorn comes from Laurelfern's wanted ad, The Birds Sing Songs of Hope. He is Laurelfern and Honeythorn's son and Owlheart's brother. Kestrelthorn was immediately supportive of Laurelfern's plans to form the Kingdom, and will eventually join his mother in the new group.

As a RidgeClan warrior, his beliefs lined up with Mars, wanting nothing more to defend his clan despite his wavering faith in the clan system as a whole. As that faith continues to crumble, Kestrelthorn aligns with the Galaxy belief, though he never quite develops any animosity toward RidgeClan specifically. Thus, as the plot goes on, he will align the most with the Dragonfly belief as a Kingdom cat.

Family: Sometimes, it feels like family is all Kestrelthorn has. His parents and brother are his closest ties. He doesn't mind that they're not as traditional, with his parents just being friends and not mates. All that matters is they have each other. Because his faith in his family has never waivered, Kestrelthorn values family above all else. This does make it difficult to connect with other cats, but also means those connections he does make are strong.

Friends: For most of his life, Kestrelthorn only had shallow friends. He's good at making new friends and socializing with others, but few cats have managed to really get to know him. The ones that do always feel like an instant connection - Ripplepaw, when they were young, being the first and only to accomplish this. Because of that, Kestrelthorn expects other friendships to feel the same way - instantaneous - and hasn't yet learned how to put in the work to make close friends.

Romance: If Kestrelthorn struggles to understand the bonds that create lasting friendships, then he hasn't even begun to understand romance. To this day he still considers himself in love with Ripplepaw, even if the two of them never really got to experience romance before Ripplepaw died. Maybe one day he'll learn how to put in the work to forge a romantic relationship, but until then, he's satisfied with the brief but bright connection he had with Ripplepaw.

Rivals: Most cats annoy Kestrelthorn at least a little, and he's sure he ignores them in return. Despite that, he doesn't really have any rivals, nor does he think it's worth his time to have them. He holds onto his childhood antagonism toward Fallowstripe and her siblings mostly out of habit at this point. Other than that, any hostility Kestrelthorn ever feels is just toward those in power during Wolfstar's war for letting RidgeClan fall apart.