I'm stright from hell with love <3
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Post by doge on Sept 27, 2023 18:35:30 GMT -6
#s://i~postimg~cc/Hxf3gjRS/cloudavatar1~png cloudwhisker | |
i don't bow down to a god or a savior...
...got demons inside but i like it thought
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His gaze felt glassy watching the deep dark sky that blossomed. Where Cloudwhisker could lie to himself that he wasn’t hollow, he did in fact do so. Slipping into a smile, the white-furred tom was buffeted as the wind swept over RidgeClan’s camp. Fondly, reminding himself of his affinity for storms and gusts, as they were violent and formless. Much like himself, the wind was savage, but only intervals. And the clouds that rolled in left Cloudwhisker to wonder if the night would end in an intemperate storm or would it all work itself out.
His eyes laid as low as his integrity, with a smile still from enjoying the storm he could sense was to come. Cloudwhisker shifted and got up the moment he spotted Leopardpaw. He hadn’t planned it, yet still had found himself waiting for her to look at him. Oddly enough it didn’t bother him when the colors on her face reminded him of her mother. “How’s training going?” Cloudwhisker blinked before licking a paw and passing it over his whiskers. “I can give you extra lessons if you’re struggling with anything.” He added as his stare floated away, almost as if to show he was acknowledging his own actions to be unusual. The white warrior almost sounded like a father for a moment but it still needed more work.
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storms make trees take deeper roots
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Post by cosmic on Oct 16, 2023 15:43:48 GMT -6
#s://i~imgur~com/cuJ0eOv~jpg Leopardpaw sat silently along the perimeter of the camp. If it wasn't for her loud orange colors, a cat passing by may not have even seen her. Silently, she started to enjoy a deer mouse that she grabbed from the fresh-kill pile after a patrol with Shadowgaze and a few other warriors. However, 'enjoy' was a word that could be used loosely. For Leopardpaw, nothing but heartbreak was felt. Antlerpaw had started to ignore her, and sometimes wasn't even seen around camp when Leopardpaw was around. Most of the time, he would talk with the other apprentices before hitting his own nest for the night. But not to her. Had she done something wrong? Did he no longer see her in a way that she hoped he did? Young heartbreak sucked, she concluded. It felt like nothing could be done. The she-cat, still, would look around the camp in hopes to see her love interest starting to bound up to her, maybe offering to tease Thymepaw or cause mischief in the territory. But the figure that she did not expect to see walking toward her was her estranged father, Cloudwhisker. As much as she had always longed for a relationship with her father, it was at the point where she didn't know how to even act around him if she talked to him. She knew that she would never be as good as Shrikepaw in his eyes, as Leopardpaw came to learn that she was simply a product of Cloudwhisker's lust. As the tom approached and talked to her, she wanted to shutter away. But she stayed? Why? Was it her people-pleasing personality getting the better of her? Or did she deep-down wish to have a familial connection? Alas, she wouldn't make it easy for him to just walk into her life again. "Shadowgaze is training me just fine." Leopardpaw flicked her tail in slight annoyance at her father's comment. Did he think that she was lacking? She wondered what his opinion on Shrikepaw was. "Have you offered the same to Shrikepaw?" she bluntly asked. "I'm fine with all of my skills," she slightly lied, but covered it up as good as she could. Really, her training was suffering because of her hunting skills being behind her fighting skills. It could also be due to all her time hanging out with Antlerpaw and the apprentice circle she was in, or due to her using her pity story to get out of her duties, but she knew she couldn't blame herself. How could she in her circumstances? "Even if you haven't, I'm sure Shrikepaw would appreciate her father taking her for more lessons. I'm fine." |
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I'm stright from hell with love <3
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Post by doge on Nov 25, 2023 12:33:12 GMT -6
#s://i~postimg~cc/Hxf3gjRS/cloudavatar1~png cloudwhisker | |
i don't bow down to a god or a savior...
...got demons inside but i like it thought
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Cloudwhisker’s gaze loosened. It was apparent he could not throw himself back into her life under the disguised offer of extra training. What once enticed him during his apprenticeship clearly would not work on his daughter. It stung his heart with truth but also worried him, was it too late to make amends to the relationship with his daughter? “Ignoring you was just to make Pigeonscreech happy.” His eyes rolled. “But I am still your father, so I still have been keeping an eye on you,” Cloudwhisker paused with a shrug and glanced off to the side. He wondered if any clanmates would find his behavior unusual. The warrior wasn’t sure if Shadowgaze would mind or not. “I know you’ve already grown strong and capable.” The father pointed out, certain that he wanted to support her – if she let him.
“You don’t have to decide anything now, but know that you were not a mistake. Your mother wanted to have you.” Cloudwhisker meowed and took a step closer, his expression earnest. While he furthermore hoped Leopardpaw could learn to stop comparing herself to Shrikepaw. He waited, giving his daughter the space to process his words, hoping they would bridge the gap that had grown between them.
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storms make trees take deeper roots
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Post by cosmic on Dec 3, 2023 20:55:34 GMT -6
#s://i~imgur~com/Cxu3tW0~png Two emotions were starting to bottle up inside the she-cat that she hadn't felt in a long time: confusion and anxiety.
Perhaps, it really was what she had longed for so long, for Leopardpaw to actually be seen by someone in her fucked-up family tree. The mornings of trying to pick the best piece of prey for her foster mother in hopes that it would turn her spirits around, or the evenings when she would fail to try to be the first to bound up to Cloudwhisker before he found the company of Pigeonscreech or another she-cat, or the afternoons when she would excitedly toss a mossball to Shrikepaw only to be ridiculed so harshly by the sister that she longed to have, all those memories flooded back to her.
However, her eyes were still slivers looking at her father, with her tail still brushing the floor of camp in agitation. His comments infuriated her. "So, you think you are justified in ignoring me to make Pigeonscreech happy?" she had a low snarl at the end of the last word. "Even after you knowing the way that she treats me? The way that Shrikepaw even treats me?"
Cloudwhicker commenting on her skills, though, did mean something to her. Sure, he could be bluffing in order to gain access to talk to her without feeling like walking on ice. But it did mean something. Ever since joining with the group of bullying apprentices, her skills weren't as refined as they needed to be. But he didn't need to know that. "Thanks," she plainly said, not allowing Cloudwhisker to have the victory of his comment getting to her. "Antlerpaw has been sparring with me recently." Well, as recently as several moonhighs ago.
However, the potential progress that could have been made was lost again. How dare...
"Oh really? Then why was it so important for you to ignore me if I wasn't a mistake? Why couldn't you have been like, 'OH, LOOK AT ME! I MADE THIS KIT AND SHE IS MINE!' Dawndapple would have had no problem claiming me as hers, but you still had a problem doing so for moons. And you just want to start talking to me out of nowhere?"
Leopardpaw couldn't help the resentful energy from building up in her body and to push her claws out from her paws. She'd never attack Cloudwhisker, but her agitation was building beyond her limits. Her tail lashed wildly like a branch in high winds, her ears still flat on her head.
"I know my real mom wanted to have me... but did you?"
Her words were sharp, hoping to pernitrate the tom's fluffy white fur to his core. She wanted to leave, but she really wanted to see what he would say. To see the hesitation in his voice. |
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I'm stright from hell with love <3
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Post by doge on Jan 3, 2024 19:37:41 GMT -6
#s://i~postimg~cc/Hxf3gjRS/cloudavatar1~png | Cloudwhisker sunlight, moonlight, i'm dead
shoot me, i'm used to seeing red
334 words | cosmic | notes: |
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storms make trees take deeper roots
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Post by cosmic on Jan 7, 2024 16:49:58 GMT -6
#s://i~imgur~com/Cxu3tW0~png Leopardpaw's breathes had not slowed since her spew of words toward her father, and she hoped that she could see him react in the way that she so desired. To see him frantically look for answers that weren't there, or for him to admit his faults. Especially as she saw the rising anger in his face and gestures. He looked just like when Shrikekit used to not get her way.
But, then, he was laughing?
It obviously took the apprentice off guard. A spitfire? It was not a word that she had heard a cat describe her as. Pigeonscreech and Shrikepaw, obviously, used a lot of negative phrases to grab Leopardpaw's attention and push it back on herself. And Antlerpaw wasn't one for compliments or anything. But it had a ring to it that she hadn't heard before.
Cloudwhisker went on to explain his actions with Dawndapple after Pigeonscreech was thought to be barren. Did she sympathize with Cloudwhisker? She couldn't tell. Really, if a tom tried that with her, she would slice his eyes out. But there was a demeanor to the white guardian that wanted her to be sympathetic toward him. Antlerpaw had told her to not fall for any of Cloudwhisker's tricks, but perhaps she was a fool to think she couldn't.
It was the words that she had waited to hear for so long... from someone, form anyone. I wanted you. Her bristled and fuming demeanor began to settle, as if the flames that could be seen flying from her pelt began to extinguish. Is this really all it took? All it took for Leopardpaw to forgive and forget everything was for someone to say she was wanted? She wanted it to be. She knew deep down that she was a cat like her mother. Gentle, calm, warm, as the elders said. But Pigeonscreech had gotten to her first. Bitter, anguished, arrogant.
At first was silence, as Leopardpaw looked toward the ground. It was awkward, certainly. But eventually, amongst the noise of camp, a sheepish mew came through. "Was Mom a spitfire too?" Leopardpaw looked toward the taller cat, as she desperately desired to know everything that she could about her real mom, not some fake mom that always trotted around camp like she knew everything. Dawndapple wasn't like that, she was sure of it. "The elders, when I was a kit, used to tell me stories about her. She was the opposite of Pigeonscreech. So, why did you choose her?" Would it bring her closure to know what made her father choose the sweet molly? To really understand why he acted the way he did?
"You know that even if you are around me, Shrikepaw and Pigeonscreech will still act like I'm mousedung right?" Leopardpaw scoffed, the normal attitude of the she-cat coming back. "It's not like it's all going to disappear just because you decided to come over here." |
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I'm stright from hell with love <3
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Post by doge on Jan 16, 2024 18:32:17 GMT -6
#s://i~postimg~cc/Hxf3gjRS/cloudavatar1~png | Cloudwhisker sunlight, moonlight, i'm dead
shoot me, i'm used to seeing red
313 words | cosmic | notes: |
“I’ll look to talk to Shrikepaw and tell her my expectations moving forward, I should have some influence over her. Pigeonscreech is just a rotting piece of fresh-kill, that we’ll both have to do our best to ignore.” He fully felt bad for Leopardpaw, knowing her mothers death was underscoring a lasting impact on her the most. “I don’t care what it takes for me to cease the strife between you and your sister.” Cloudwhisker’s tone carried a sense of determined responsibility with clear plans to communicate with her more frequently. He gaze remained settled intently on her, knowing she deserved a loving parent but had been missing one all this time. |
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storms make trees take deeper roots
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Post by cosmic on Jan 28, 2024 21:46:26 GMT -6
#s://i~imgur~com/Cxu3tW0~png Cloudwhisker only spoke the same things that she would hear from the elders, begging the old cats to tell her stories about her mother. However, despite it being the same thing she heard before, it was relieving to the apprentice. It gave her the confirmation that she had longed for. As expected, the comment about Dawndapple's class went over the young she-cat's head, but she understood what the tom was hinting at. Dawndapple was better, sweeter, more sensible.
The tom continued to speak things into existence that the calico only hoped to hear about her mother from a cat that really knew her. Kindness, love, different. Dawndapple was nothing like the adoptive mother that she was stuck with, and it only caused Leopardpaw to have her heart sink deeper into her stomach. "I wish I could have met her," she softly said, almost as if she was speaking about a clanmate, rather than her actual mother. But the hint of her father's sadness gave her more of a feeling of remorse and regret. He really did love her biological mother, more than just wanting to have kits. Leopardpaw was still a product of his infidelity, she knew. However, she couldn't put blame anywhere on the tom. Antlerpaw would probably tell her that she was a fool for believing a tom with a record of narcissism, but she believed him.
She wanted to believe him.
"Am I anything like her? I know you said we were spitfires, kinda. But, is there anything else? Do I... remind you of her? Is that why you stayed away?" It was silly questions to ask, especially since this was probably one of the first times that they would be seen together since her birth. Maybe he heard about her from other warriors though. Hopefully not the negative parts though... her slacking off, her bullying around camp. Deep down, it always worried her who she was becoming, but the mask that her crush created for her had taken her over. "I-I just don't want to be like Pigeonscreech, but I think that I might."
Cloudwhisker's promise to help her with her remaining familial problems filled her soul with a optimism that had been missing for the moons since she was made an apprentice. Shadowgaze's lessons had become boring, Antlerpaw's antics had grown old, but this... this was something different.
"I'll try to be on my best behavior around her... but if she starts anything, she's going to get it," Leopardpaw growled with the thought of the continuation of Shrikepaw's torture. "And I can try to ignore Pigeonscreech, but she is always out to get me." A flick of her right ear, the ear with the scar from one of Pigeonscreech's attacks, was stirred when she noticed the big, brooding Antlerpaw bounding into the entrance of camp. Her attention was drawn to him. Maybe she could abandon the conversation now, show herself that she didn't need anyone, truly.
But as her gaze continued to watch Antlerpaw, her desire to have somewhat of a normal life caused her skin to itch. Her golden eyes fell, before going back to her father's gaze. Leopardpaw needed to be better, she knew that. It wouldn't be easy.
"Just because I am accepting your help doesn't mean that you are my father again," she spoke sharply with her calico fur ruffled against her. "At least, not right now. I won't trust you for a while. But..." her pause caused her to blink slowly, thinking of her next words. "I'm willing to work on it."
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